请英语高手帮我检查下这篇文章哪里写的不好Istillrememberthefirstdayinmycollege.Thatwasasunnyday.WiththemixtureofcuriosityandjoyIwentintomycampus.Therearebeautifultreeswithgreenleavesshininginthesuns

Question

请英语高手帮我检查下这篇文章 哪里写的不好
I still remember the first day in my college.That was a sunny day.With the mixture of curiosity and joy I went into my campus.There are beautiful trees with green leaves shining in the sunshine.The sun shining through the leaves dappled the ground.I walk along the paths into the campus.All things were so beautiful.The trees,the river,the teaching building and the playground all were covered by the beautiful sunshine.
Gradually more and more people presented to the campus.The same to me they are also the freshmen.We all looked forward to our campus life.Everybody was busy with their things about enrollment with smiling.Under seniors’ help I completed my things.Then I followed the senior to come to my dormitory with pleasure.But the bedraggled building makes me disappointed.on entering the dormitory with little disappointment I met 5 smiling faces that greeted me warmly which make me pretty amazed and delight.We introduced each other at first sight.In a short time we talked and laughed without any embarrassment.It makes me happy that I can get along well with my roommates.
In the afternoon,the counselor shows us about the school.And some seniors tell us their experience about their life in these years.Whenever we need help,some give us a hand.I feel
I joined a big family.I knew further life should be not all roses in college what I learn from my first day in college,but we should learn how to face the trouble and to settle the problem.The college is a small society,so I should learn some ability to equip myself in here.Now I am a junior.I really learned a lot of thing during these tow years.

Answer 1

就看最后一段~learn~ability不好吧~应该是train~ablility~而且some后面是ablilities吧~其实最好还是用skills上面的trouble跟problem应该是复数吧~
而且阿~中式英语严重阿~equip myself 有这么说的么?要穿上装甲打仗?应该是try to adapt..最后是two years吧?最后一句应该是i had learned .yet吧.郁闷了~看你这文章根看中文似的呢.