SAT评分.很快要考试了,小弟没办法,希望各位帮我看看这文章能拿多少分,最重要是如何提高.很快要考试了,小弟没办法,希望各位帮我看看这文章能拿多少分,最重要是如何提高.Assignment：Isitbes

Question

SAT评分.很快要考试了,小弟没办法,希望各位帮我看看这文章能拿多少分,最重要是如何提高.
很快要考试了,小弟没办法,希望各位帮我看看这文章能拿多少分,最重要是如何提高.
Assignment：Is it best to determine how wise people are by how happy they are?
Happy people may have a wise brain; however,to determine whether a person is wise or not is not supposed to be based on how happy they are.Newton was said to be one of the most brilliant people in human history but his life was filled with scornful experience.Beethoven,as people known,lived a struggled life due to the almost deaf ears; however,he was a giant in the field of music.Lincoln,one of the greatest president in US history,is an another example to prove that some of the wise people do not live a happy life.
Behind of a great and wise people is not a happy life but painful experience.Isaac Newton was a famous example to well illustrate this.Newton was born in a poor family,and his mother abandoned him soon after his father’s death,and at that time he was only 3 months.Having raised by his grandmother in a very poor condition,little newton soon started to learn physics and calculus,and by his intelligence and hard-work,he was accepted by Cambridge University.However,accepting by Cambridge university was supposed to be a happy thing.Black plague happened,and his life suddenly fell off from heaven to the hell.However,he chose to go on studying while struggled with illness.Adversity leads to prosperity,newton invented found gravity and invented a lot of great works for modern physics,and he was remembered by all human being.But no one saw he ever smiled a little in his life,even his portray.
The life of Beethoven also proved that wise people lived hardly,and they were not happy.Faced with piano every day,young Beethoven had never been happy during his childhood.However,it was not a big deal.What almost ruined his life was his deafness.After losing his listening ability,Beethoven lived almost liked a ghost,without seeing the sunshine.With his great pain,Beethoven created many great pieces,such as No.9 symphony.His life was said to be legendary,but had he been happy for a while.
In US president history,Lincoln was the most successful one; he used his life to also address that wise people were not happy.Failed in many times governor elections,suffered from mental illness,and his most loved girlfriend passed away when he was 27.Lincoln’s life was hard.Great inspiration enabled this wise man becoming the US president later in his painful life.
In conclusion,happy people may live in a good and wise life.However,happiness should not be used a standard to measure whether a people is wise or not.At least,from the lives of Newton,Beethoven and Lincoln,we do not see that they were happy.

Answer 1

personal score evaluation: 4.5
Your essay is actually pretty good, with different sentence structures and wisely used vocabulary making your style quite fancy. If you are going to take the test in a short time, it’s totally suitable to jot down an essay like this in your writing section,(but be sure that you can finish your essay, the time is limited!) and your scores will be satisfying. To be honest, US universities will more likely to focus on your reading score than on your writing, which only contributes to a relatively small part of your total score. Nonetheless, if there is still some time left, revising your finished articles won’t be a bad idea. Writing a fanciful essay will not be a high-score-guarantee, but it will surely make a bonus. Always pay attention to your grammar mistakes and tense errors. One or two lapse of them will be negligible, but a large mount will demonstrate your poor mastery of English. In your essay above, you are free of most of the errors, but some are still showing themselves there, like “enabled ….becoming” and “Failed in many times governor elections” a thorough revision can help you find out these problems. Please remember, at the real test you will not have enough time to check out all the mistakes. Be sure to make yourself sensitive to evitable errors.
Another thing is that it’s not necessary to just display your examples. I have to say, personally, that your ability to refer to lots of examples in one essay is really amazing. Not everybody can do that. However, the unfortunate reality is that the readers will definitely want to know details rather than the facts they have already known. In other word, they would be happier to enjoy your analysis of a certain example than simple to read facts. A few critical views of yours will be refreshing. Anyway, they want to read your essay, not a mixture of examples they can easily consult to an encyclopedia.
Of course you can be better, but above all, nice job, buddy! Don’t worry too much about your SAT test, let along your writing. Good luck to you! Feel free to contact me if you want.