急懂托福的进写了篇独立写作的我不会托福独立写作的compareandcontrastandstateyouropinioin的我觉得一写这种类型的就会有些观点模糊大家看看我写的文章请耐心改一下如何改正我23

Question

【急】懂托福的进 写了篇独立写作的
我不会托福独立写作的compare and contrast and state your opinioin 的 我觉得一写这种类型的就会有些观点模糊 大家看看我写的文章 请耐心改一下 如何改正 我23号就考了 第一次 准备还不够啊
作文题目是It has been said,"Not everything that is learned is contained in books."Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books.In your opinion,which source is more important?Why?
People constantly explore the question whether knowledge is gained from books or from experience.Some people might believe that the knowledge gained from the books is more professional .However,in my view,I think that knowledge gained from the books is more impressive,more practical and more useful.“ Experience is the best teacher”is an old chiche,but I agree with it.
We can get much more professional information from the books.The author can provide us the specific information in a certain field of study.By studying from these books,we can raise our knowledge greatly and develop our intelligence at the same time.On the other hand,we also can increase our knowledge from experience.Only by experiencing something can you remember this thing much deeper.Like we study and take the exam.Only you have taken the exam and have analyzed the wrong answers can you correct the false answers the next time.In a word,it’s more impressive after having doing it yourself.
Furthermore,it is a fact that you can get much more information from the books because you can’t experience everything .The knowledge you gained from the books can provide you a wide perspective.For example,they will tell you in the books how to solve a difficult math problem.Only you have understand it and try to solve the question yourself again,then the knowledge has become yours.Take myself as an example,once I have seen a book written by Sarah Mars,which is mainly about how to develop the friendship.But these advices and suggestions will be practical only if you have used these in your daily life .Thus you can form your own thought to deal with your social relationship.So,in my point if view,knowledge gained from the experience is more practical.
Some people may hold quite different views from me .They maybe think what we all learn from school are from textbook.But that’s not true because you also do a lot practice like doing your assignments,taking exams and preparing for a presentation,These are all you valuable experience.The knowledge you gained from your experience is much more impressive,more practical and more useful.

Answer 1

我问一句,你完整的读过这篇文章没?有些逻辑上的错误,还有一些自己支持观点的前后不照应.以上问题,读几遍就应该找得到.再来就是一些语法的问题了,象"deeper"应改为deeply," Like we study and take the exam"就是明显的中式英语了