帮看一下我写的托福作文,刚上手,30分钟只码出227个字,还没结尾.看看这惨样能得几分呀?跑题没?题目tpo1writingDoyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatements?Atuniversitiesandcolleges,sportsandsocialacti

Question

帮看一下我写的托福作文,刚上手,30分钟只码出227个字,还没结尾.看看这惨样能得几分呀?跑题没?
题目tpo1 writing
Do you agree or disagree with the following statements?
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries and shoule receive equal financial support.
以下是我的.惨不忍睹.
Sports and social activities, nowadays, serve an essential part in cultivating full-developed students in the univercities and colleges, thus they deserve great attention as well as financial support the same as classes and libraries.
To begin with, the convinience brought by the rapid development of network totally attach lots of students on the compus to the computer screen. With their eyes locked on, bodies screwed, and keeping the rigid posture all day long, there is hardly anyone of them devoid of a health problem. Therefore, naturally comes up the idea of encouraging college students to go out and do exercises to keep a good feagure, and providing enormous kinds of high-standard equipment and sufficient space for taking sports sound a quite attracting idea. With more financial support on sports, student are able to enjoy more conviniency for playing basketball, kicking footbal, swimming and so on so forth.
Secondly, most of the graduates will enter the work force, where countless obstacles and difficulties concerning relationships with colleagues and boss would definitely make you a mess. That's why universities and colleges should take their resposibility to help create a good environment for their students to experience and learn form. Knowledge get from experience in social activities is as important as from book and class, so there should be more financial input in creating more spaces for ...……写不出了,呜呜呜
望给一点指点,万谢,过一阵就要考试了,废废!

Answer 1

文章没写完很明显是练得太少.不说你整体上构思和观点陈述的问题,你其实有很多搭配介词少了和错误,第三人称单数错误,拼写错误.这些错误虽然小,简单,但是是致命的.你觉得这些都会犯错还能拿高分么.所以先不要急,先去改正这些错误,每次写完都一样.然后再来看整体的问题.
祝120~