托福独立写作，求牛牛帮忙批改Question:ItismoreimportanttokeepyouroldfriendsthanitistomakenewfriendsAswenowliveinasocietywithgrowingmobilityofpopulationandcounterdifferentsortofpeopleeveryday,thuswehave

Question

托福独立写作，求牛牛帮忙批改
Question:
It is more important to keepyour old friends than it is to make new friends

As we now live in a society with growing mobility of population and counter different sort of people everyday, thus we have a high chance to make a lot of new friends than ever before. The result is quite spectacular, since meeting with new friends increases our social skills and enrich our life. In my perspective, I quite agree that making new friends ismore important than keeping old friend. But I don't deny that old friends also play a part in our life
First of all, making new friends can bring morenew ideas for your life and thus make your life full of wonderful experience.IF you also stay in the same circle that all your friends are from your colleagues or your former college partners, you have a quite limited ideas because those people may have the similar career pattern with you. However, if you go out and make some new friends who are from quite different fields or have differentinterests, you will find how different you are from those friends and how they give you so fresh and useful ideas. Last year, I attended a club that most of the members are majored in high-energy physics and made several friends there.As I have quite different life pattern from them since my profession is auditing, I find that those physics scholars gave many new ideas on the economic activities that they tried to use physics model to illustrate complex transactions in business. I was so enlighted and encouraged from those fresh ideas that I will never heard of those information from my old friends.
Besides, making new friends is a way to help us to raise our social skills. As we know that social skills are not onlycritical in our business areas but also key to increase our personalinfluential ability and ,as a result, build our identity. I used to be a quite shy guy when I was in the college, and I hated to make new friends , thinking that it is sort of wasting time for making new friends . The result is quite obvious that I was fairly average in the performance during my college life..After entering the job area, I have realized the importance of social skills and tried to make many new friends. Through making new friends and learning all those experiences from them, I have a great progress in my social skill. Thus, I do quite well in communicating with my boss, my clients and my colleagues.

Answer 1

显然你问错地方了，在这里怎么可能有人给你改，告诉你个免费的地方，你搜小站托福，或者小马论坛，这两个论坛我记得里面都有免费批改作文并且打分的模块，而且都是专业老师。