求强人看看这篇托福作文帮我打分,提建议Withthedevelopmentofthesocietyjumpsoutaproblemofinterestwhichfocusonisitimportanttochooceajobyoulikeortochooseajobwithhighpayment.Asformethescaleofmyjudgemen

Question

求强人看看这篇托福作文帮我打分,提建议
With the development of the society jumps out a problem of interest which focus on is it important to chooce a job you like or to choose a job with high payment.As for me the scale of my judgement will definitely incline the bemefit of the forst one.to be honest,a job which you enjoy can make you to be happy everyday,inspie you to work harder,and lead to good results in the end.I think the following reasons and examples will support my idea.
Of the top value comes the first point,which concentrate on the happy mood you get everyday.To be frank,the happy mood,rather than a despensive luxery,is a good friend in our life.For instance,taking the job you interested in will equip you with the ability to be happy because you think the time and energy you paid is worth it.What is more,the happy mood will surely give you the ability to enjoy the work,not to stand it.Some recent research done by the scientists have showed that being happy everyday does do a good job to your health.So I think the jobs which you enjoy does benefits us a lot.
Secondly,the more achievements we have,the more confident we will be,and thus the brighter futuer we may have in the future.Accurately,choosing a job that you really interested in will make you feel like to do more to it,that is,to get more achievements.To be honest,when a person is doing the work he interested in,he will try his best to achieve his goal.What is more,such thing will definately increase the effciency of his work and to benefit him in the rest pages of his life.
Last but not the least,chooing the work we interested in does inspire us to work hard,which is a good friend both in our life and career.Take a recent resarch done by the magazine ,one of the most famous magazine in china as a example.In the research,nearly 94 per cent of the experts claimed that people with the job that they really interested in have more energy to work.From the figures above,it is not difficult to see that choosing a job that you really interested in a very good.

Answer 1

拼写、格式错误：
chooce
judgement
bemefit
forst
to
inspie
despensive luxery
definately
effciency
chooing
resarch
你可以自己放到word、google文档、gmail里,可以自动检查的
the society jumps out a problem of interest which focus on is it
不知所云.
Take a recent resarch done by the magazine ,one of the most famous magazine in china as a example.
one of the most famous magazine in china做插入语解释,应该单独一句,china后面加个逗号
大概20多分吧,fair的水平
你语法问题不大,打字的错误率有点高了,阐述理由稍显牵强,还有最后还可以加一段总结段,这样条理更为清楚
附独立写作评分标准（6分制,要换算的,OG上好像有解释）
六分：文章切题,阐说充分,文章有说服力；段落组织有序,衔接紧密,过渡自然,有很强的逻辑性；段落内句与句连接顺畅,句式使用恰当,灵活,娴熟；用词确切,得体.文章中有个别语法拼写错误,但不影响内容表达.
五分：文章切题,阐说基本充分,在某些细节上有缺陷.段落层次组织有序,衔接紧密,过渡自然,逻辑性强；句间连接顺畅,句式使用恰当,灵活；用词基本得体.文章中有少量用词不当和语法拼写错误.
四分：文章切题,阐说尚可,展开不够.段落层次组织有序,衔接紧密,过渡自然,有逻辑性；句间连接基本顺畅；有部分句法错误；用词一般,有时不得体.词性区分和拼写等有若干错误.
三分：文章切题,段落组织基本合理,有逻辑性,但只存在于语义层次上,语言表达上未能体现；句子框架结构基本成立,但有许多语法错误,句间联系不顺畅,往往是不善于使用逻辑连词,显得幼稚,生硬.词汇方面拼写错误多,常有用词不得体现象.
二分：文章切题.阐说没有展开,只限于三言两语地回答问题；没有段落组织,很乱,长度很短,只有一段；句子排列有一定的逻辑关系,能看出各句基本框架,但结构或语法错误较多；用词不得体,拼写错误多.
一分：文章各方面都有严重错误,句子不像句子.总体印象是根本没有写作能力,英语水平太低,够不上二分标准,只能打最低分.