谁能帮忙改个英文简历,这是我哥哥的简历,我资历不够,OBJECTIVESeekinganinternshipinafinancialinstitutionthatwillallowmetocontributemypassionandknowledgeinfinancetothecompanyEDUCATIONSchoolofManagementand

Question

谁能帮忙改个英文简历,
这是我哥哥的简历,我资历不够,
OBJECTIVE Seeking an internship in a financial institution that will allow me to contribute my passion and knowledge in finance to the company
EDUCATION School of Management and Economics,
Shandong normal University
Major in International Economics and Trade
School of Business,linyi University
International Trade
Jinan No.3 High School
Sept 2008–now
Sept 2005–July 2008
Sept 2002–July 2005
WORK
EXPERIENCE China Merchants Bank Co.ltd JINAN July 2009- Nov2009
Worked as both lobby assistant manager and loan officer in the sales and service department,guiding customer,saling credit asset management products and issuing a loan .
Got familiarized with working flows at banks,improved social skills.
Jinan Century 21 Real Estate Co.Ltd JINAN Apr 2008-Agu 2008
Collecting customer information and housing sale of second-hand.
Got acquired knowledge of second-hand house.
Chanzhida Cosmetics Co.Ltd Shandong General agent
JINAN Jan 2008-Apr 2008
Collecting customer information and market investigation and analysis.
Gained in-depth knowledge of market research.
HONORS The excellent League member of Shandong Normal University
The excellent social practice individuals of Shandong Normal University
The first-grade scholarship of Shandong normal university
The second-grade scholarship of liangzou Mining Group Nov 2008
Dec 2008
Nov 2009
Dec 2009
SKILLS Fluency in English
Good knowledge of China economy
Excellent communication skill
Excellent skill of PC

Answer 1

1. 缺少一个基本信息的section.基本个人信息包括姓名、性别、出生日期、最高学历、工作年限、联络方式等等,算是简历中的“名片”,并非可有可无.
2. 教育方面：一般而言,时间应该放在教育经历前,这样比较醒目.如果表示“至今”应该用present而不是now. Shangdong Normal University这个名字很滑稽,你确定学校官方的翻译就是这样的吗?另外最好要标注在每个学校学习时的目标学历/取得的学历
3. 工作经历方面,应该标明在每个公司的职位.简历中没有职位名称,只有具体的责任/工作内容,不够好.
4. 英语方面熟练,应该用fluent in English,不能用fluency； Good at China Economy；Excellent skill in Computer