大家来找茬（英语高手）找到我写的不对的地方WhenIgraduateformhighschool,Iwenttocollege.WhenIfirstyearofcollege,Ihadadream.IwantedtotravelaroundtheworldandsawtheGreatSphinx.Inordertorealizethedream,I

Question

大家来找茬（英语高手）
找到我写的不对的地方 When I graduate form high school,I went to college.When I first year of college,I had a dream.I wanted to travel around the world and saw the Great Sphinx.In order to realize the dream,I made a plan:The first is to save up enought money The second to keep fit The third learn to as often as possible to speak in English The fourth concentrate on my studies.Because i had to prepare for my plan So I found a part-job and made progress for my study.Finally I took part in TOEFL

Answer 1

After I graduated form high school,I went to college.When in my first year ,I had a dream.I wanted to travel around the world and saw the Great Sphinx.In order to make the dream come ture,I made a plan: The first is to save up enought money The second is to keep fit The third ,learn to speak English as much as possible. The fourth ,concentrate on my studies. Because i had to prepare for my plan , I found a part-job and made progress in my study. Finally I attend the TOEFL exam.