帮我看看有没有语法错误，我要发给我申请的学校的DEARALL:Ifinishedmyundergraduatedegreecoursein2011inNanjinguniversityoffinancewhichisinChina.Iamwritingtoenquirethenecessa

Question

帮我看看有没有语法错误，我要发给我申请的学校的
DEAR ALL:
I finished my undergraduate degree course in 2011 in Nanjing university of finance which is in China.
I am writing to enquire the necessary application process of entry Tilurg University and as well as the requirement. I wish to be considered for entry to your university in August 2015
My condition has a little complex,my junior college is self-study in Suzhou university, my major is accounting,and my undergraduate is adult undergraduate couse in Nanjing univerity of finance.I have got a bachelor's degree. MY average score is 85
After finish my college,I have been working as an accountant in a real estate company for three years.
I am working hard to ensure that I have all the necessary skills and qualifications for the master course.
I will be very proud if I have the chance to enjoy the excellent educational facilities in your country.
I am looking forward to seeing your reply.

Answer 1

很多欠妥的。
I will be very proud if I have the chance to enjoy the excellent educational facilities in your country.改the chance of enjoying;
After finish my college,I have been working as an accountant in a real estate company for three years.改 after finishing;
My condition has a little complex,my junior college is self-study in Suzhou university, my major is accounting,and my undergraduate is adult undergraduate couse in Nanjing univerity of finance .I have got a bachelor's degree. MY average score is 85.改 my condition is....Nanjing univerity of finance 改大写Nanjing University of Finance;
I wish to be considered for entry to your university in August 2015.这句可以不要，也不对；
I finished my undergraduate degree course in 2011 in Nanjing university of finance which is in China. 改大写Nanjing University of Finance;