帮我订正一下英语作文请英语好的同学订正下作文,四级作文,希望在语法,句子结构上给多看看1、许多人喜欢在出席观看春节晚会2、但有些人提出取消春节晚会3、我的看法SpringFestivalGalao

Question

帮我订正一下英语作文
请英语好的同学订正下作文,四级作文,希望在语法,句子结构上给多看看
1、 许多人喜欢在出席观看春节晚会
2、 但有些人提出取消春节晚会
3、 我的看法
Spring Festival Gala on CCTV
Many people enjoy watching Spring Festival Gala on CCTV,Because this is a consistant Custom in our country,
Nevertheless,some people have put forward to abolish the system.Firstly,they think that Spring Festival Gala spend a lot of money.Secondly,they considered that the Spring Festival isn’t successful in recent years.Their performance isn’t in correspondence with（表演不符合大多数人的兴趣） the interesting of many people,especially old people.
In my opinions,althought Spring Festival Gala is not interesting,but it has become a symbol in Chinese mind .what a happy all family members get together to watching performance in festival in evening.As a result,I am not agree to abolish the system.
我的水平不好,是自己写的,有不好的地方给改改,希望多教我点东西,我憋这篇作文花了1小时,哎.我作文怎么才能提高啊?
1、 许多人喜欢在除夕观看春节晚会，是除夕，貌似我没翻译出来

Answer 1

看看我改的符不符合您的作文
Many chinese people enjoy waching Spring Festival Gala on TV because it is a consistant custom in China. During the festival, it's time for people relax themselve, chat with their family and enjoy the TV shows.
However, some people not advocate such Spring Festival Gala on TV. Firstly, they think the Spring Festival Gala costs a lot of money and many efforts from the actors. Secondly, they consider the Spring Festival isn't very successful in recent years, most people, especially aged people, are not very enjoy or satisfied with the performence of the Spring Festival Gala.
In my opinion, although Spring Festival Gala is not very interesing or entertainment, as Chinese people enjoy spring festival gala through many years, the Spring Festival Gala has become one of the neccessary process with along the Spring Festival. So, I disagree to cancel this gala, but I do expect the leaders of the Spring Festival Gala make more efforts on the TV shows, make more interesting shows to attract more people. If people have decided to have Spring Festival Gala, just make it more elaborate.
现在说说您的问题
Many people enjoy watching Spring Festival Gala on CCTV, Because this is a consistant Custom in our country,
because 前面不用逗号, 也不用大写. our country, 没人知道您是哪国人, 用china 更明确
Nevertheless,some people have put forward to abolish the system. Firstly, they think that Spring Festival Gala spend a lot of money. Secondly, they considered that the Spring Festival isn’t successful in recent years. Their performance isn’t in correspondence with（表演不符合大多数人的兴趣） the interesting of many people,especially old people.
people put forward to abolish the system, system 肯定不对, 您说的是春节联欢晚会, 不是系统, put forward 也不太准确. 还是advocate 比较合适. they think that Spring Festival Gala spend a lot of money. 这里不用that, think后面从句that 可以省略, 但特指spring festival gala 要加the, spend是主语是人时候用的, 物作主语的时候用cost, 这里物是主语Spring FEstival Gala, They 这里非主语. Their performance isn’t in correspondence with（表演不符合大多数人的兴趣） the interesting of many people,especially old people.感觉像中式英语.
although but 不能同时用, become a symbol in chinese mind, 没弄明白你要说什么. what a happy all family members get together to watching performance in festival in evening.这更是有语病, what a 什么是感叹句, 这里无需, to 后面要加动词原形. It's a great moment for faily members get together and have some fun with the actor's performance of Spring Festival Gala in New Year's Eve. so 比as a result 更确切. 好了先怎么多吧. 本人英语水平有限, 只是根据您的大意写的, 没expand太多您的essay. 若想提高英语作文, 就多多阅读英语书刊, 英语沙龙等都是不错的, 看文章的时候别就图一乐, 要仔细看句子的结构, 时态, 语法等. 还有好的句子要熟练地背下来, 这样可以照猫画虎用到自己的作文里