一篇作文sepsundaysunnyIt'sveryfine,today.sotherewasaoutdooractivity.Firstly,wewenttotheparkbyschoolbusat7:20p.m.Andat9:30,wearrivedatthedestination.Secondly.wewereswimming,it'ssonice.Becauseswimmingismyfavoritesp

Question

一篇作文
sep sunday sunny
It's very fine,today.so there was a outdoor activity.Firstly,we went to the park by school bus at 7:20 p.m.And at 9:30,we arrived at the destination.Secondly.we were swimming,it's so nice.Because swimming is my favorite sport.After lunch,had a good rest and we told stories by English.Finally,in park,we took photos each other.About 5:30,we still took school bus to go home.What a good day!有错吗
we arrived at the destination at 9.30
After lunch ,we told stories by English while having a good rest
Finally,we took photos each other in park
这样有语病吗 就是把其中的几个句子稍作改动了
怎么修改更好 容易得分

Answer 1

Sep Sunday sunny
It's fine today,so we had an outdoor activity.Firstly,we went to the park by school bus at 7:20 p.m.And at 9:30,we arrived at the destination.Secondly.we were swimming,it was so nice,because swimming is my favorite sport.After lunch,we had a good rest and we told stories in English.Finally,in the park,we took photos .About 5:30,we still took the school bus to go home.What a good day!we arrived at the destination at 9.30