帮忙改下作文MyhometownThereisbeautifulcity,Evenifit’sasmallcity.Therehavemountainsandrivers.Thereismyhometown,Ilivehere17years.I’mborninhere,myhometowninQuzhouZhejiangprovince.MyhometownisfamousforCitrusCha

Question

帮忙改下作文
My hometown
There is beautiful city,Even if it’s a small city.There have mountains and rivers.There is my hometown,I live here 17 years.
I’m born in here,my hometown in Quzhou Zhejiang province.My hometown is famous for Citrus Changshan-HuYou and stone.HuYou is one of the fruit.It has some sweet,some sour,I like it very much.And,it can make HuYou dry,HuYou tea and preserved fruit.It not only food but also natural health product.My hometown another name is Stone city.My hometown have different stone,small,big,large.There have everything that one expects to find.
I love my hometown.This living I keep my place,welcome you come.

Answer 1

My hometown
There is a beautiful city,even if it's a small city.There are so many mountains and rivers.I live in such a beautiful place for 17 years.
I was born here,Quzhou at Zhejiang province.My hometown is famous for Citrus Changshan-HuYou and stone.the citrus is a kind of fruit,it tastes sweet and sour,and i like it very much.Also the citrus can be dried,make a kind of fruit tea called HuYou tea .Not only it is a delicious fruit,but also have a large amount of Vitamin C,so it's also a healthy product. My hometown's another name is Stone city,because there are many different stone.
I love this city,I enjoy living in such a great city,and hope that more and more people can come to my hometown.
楼主最大的毛病就是中国化的英语太严重了,因为从你的整体要表达的意思来看,没有较为复杂的用法.1时态有问题2句子成分有问题,有几处缺少谓语3表达中国化：就说某处有什么,直接用there be句型,而不是there have,还有欢迎你们的到来直接表达welcome to my hometown或者welcome your coming