请求帮忙修改英语作文下面是我练习时写的一篇考试类型的作文,谁能帮我修改修改?Directions:Somepeopleprefertoplanactivitiesfortheirfreetimecarefully.Otherschoosenottomakeanyplansatallfortheirfreetim

Question

请求帮忙修改英语作文
下面是我练习时写的一篇考试类型的作文,谁能帮我修改修改?
Directions:Some people prefer to plan activities for their free time carefully.Others choose not to make any plans at all for their free time.Compare the benefits of planning free time activities with the benefits of not making plans.Which do you prefer---planning or not planning for your leisure time?Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.You should write about 180 wors.
Everybody should enjoy the free time after a period of hard work.But it is well known that the opinion concerning how to spend the free time reasonably varies from person to person.
Some people prefer to plan activities for their free time very carefully.In their views there are two factors contributing to this choice as follows:in the first place,having a detailed and perfect plan can make themselves do what they want to do methodically.Furthermore,in the second place,a great plan bring them a substantial and happy time and also a good preparation for the next work.So it goes without saying that planning activities for the free time carefully is essential.
Other people,however,differ in their opinions on this matter.They choose not to make any plans at all for their free time.In their point of view,on the one hand,they are pretty tired while working and do not want to make any plans any more.On the one hand,when enjoying the free time,they just do whatever they want.Therefore,there is no doubt that it is not necessary to make any plans for the free time.
As far as I am concerned,I prefer to make a plan for my leisure time.It is not only because making plans carefully can make me deal with my personal affairs in turn,but also because the free time does not mean the disorder of my life.And I think that it is a good plan that can let me have a good time.The detaileder the plan is,the more good time I will have.
这是我用的模板：
There is a widespread concern over the issue that __作文题目_____.But it is well known that the opinion concerning this hot topic varies from person to person.A majority of people think that _ 观点一________.In their views there are 2 factors contributing to this attitude as follows:in the first place,___原因一_______.Furthermore,in the second place,___原因二_____.So it goes without saying that ___观点一_____.
People,however,differ in their opinions on this matter.Some people hold the idea that ___观点二_______.In their point of view,on the one hand,___原因一_______.On the other hand,____原因二_____.Therefore,there is no doubt that ___观点二______.
As far as I am concerned,I firmly support the view that __观点一或二______.It is not only because ________,but also because _________.The more _______,the more ________.
谢谢网友的鼓励!
我对照了一下范文,可以看出自己对两种观点叙述太多,而自己的观点却陈述不够,这有些不符合题目的要求.模板虽好,但针对具体题目却显得僵化.所以哪位大虾能够提供一些写此类作文的好的模式,或者是说说该怎样利用模板?
还有,在一些细节问题上,比如,a substantial time（要表达的是：充实的时光）这种搭配是否合适?“使某人怎样”我用的“make”太频繁,除此之外,还可以用哪些表达方式?The detaileder the plan is,the more good time I will have这句话写的是否正确?恳请指正!

Answer 1

挺好,不用修改