我想写封电子邮件给一个外国朋友,不知道哪里需要修改,希望各位英语达人给出宝贵的意见~James,HI!YournameandE-mailareinPenfriendsite.Idon'tknowwhoyouare,butIwouldliketobeyourpenfriend.IamaChinese

Question

我想写封电子邮件给一个外国朋友,不知道哪里需要修改,希望各位英语达人给出宝贵的意见~
James,
HI!Your name and E-mail are in Penfriend site.I don't know who you are,but I would like to be your penfriend.I am a Chinese girl,my name is Tan Jiaqi,my English name is Alice.I am thirteen years old.How old are you?I have long black hair and yellow skin,what about you?I like painting very much!
I live with my parents in Guangzhou,China.I can write English,but I can't speak it very well,so,I hope I can increase my English during the communication with you.
Best wishes
Alice

Answer 1

你好!下面几个小地方改一下就好了：
- I can write English 应该是 I can write in English
- increase my English 改成 enhance my English skills 比较好
- during the communication with you 改成 through our communications
其他都没问题,你写得不错.
祝你一切顺利!^_^