小弟要泪奔了~两次托福都是24~两次雅思却都是5.5..给点指导.20分majorcitiesItisgenerallyknownthattheexpansionofcitieshavebroughtagreatdealofpositiveinfluencestooursociety,makingourlifemoreconvenientanden

Question

小弟要泪奔了~两次托福都是24~两次雅思却都是5.5..给点指导.20分major cities
It is generally known that the expansion of cities have brought a great deal of positive influences to our society,making our life more convenient and enjoyable.However,it is also obvious that many drawbacks are accompanied with the continual city growth.Therefore finding effective solutions to the problems caused by urbanization has been a hearted issue nowadays.In this essay I would discuss the categories and generations for the problems,then try to figure out tenable solutions for the problems.
To begin with,I would illustrate the problems generated from the city growth.Firstly,urbanization might lead to contaminations to our ecosystem,especially in some remote and undeveloped areas and countries.To be more specific,the establishments of industrial factories,commercial centers as well as living blocks might bring along air pollutions and land loss to downtowns,disrupting the indigenous living styles and ecosystems.Consider,for example,rarely birds can be seen in downtown of my city,especially in those industrial regions.Secondly,the overload city growth could stimulate traffic congestion,putting a heavy burden on our transportation system.As a result,governments have to construct advanced transportation systems to alleviate traffic pressure.
Then I will try to find the causes for the problems.In the first place,worldwide population is growing rapidly during the past century.As for my country,people tripled in the past 50 years.Therefore,people seek for more space and resources to survive.It should be admitted that living in a city can make life more brilliant and enjoyable.Secondly,the construction of industries and commercial buildings could render more profits to enterprises.So many employees choose to build factories and buildings in urban areas to maximize their interests.
Based on the above arguments,I would discuss some tentative solutions.First of all,governments as well as individuals should take methods to prevent the drastic growth of the population.Although the policy in China might seem extreme at some degree,it has been proved that the policy is both effective and realistic.Then factories should use environmental-friendly methods in the produce procedure in order to achieve sustainable development.Finally,governments should construct some advanced and convenient transportation systems to keep pace with the boost of urbanizations.
In conclusion,a series of problems are caused by the urban expansion.We society as whole should conduct feasible solutions to settle these problems.
major cities grow into around countryside,young people living in the city,what problems are caused due to the cities continued growth,what are the reasons and what solutions do you have?Give examples.

Answer 1

对不起,那什么这篇的statement是什么啊,怎么solution都出来啦,不是一般都是disagree,disagree么...
不过,LZ的表达应该是问题不大了,主要应该是思路结构方面的问题
呃,不太明白,还是走吧.