帮忙看看我的雅思作文吧.studentsfromruralareasoftenfinditdifficulttoaccesstouniversityeducation,sopeoplethinkuniversitiesshouldmakeitspeciallyeasyforthemtostudyat.TowhatextentdoyouagreeordisagreeAlthoughI’

Question

帮忙看看我的雅思作文吧.
students from rural areas often find it difficult to access to university education,so people think universities should make it specially easy for them to study at.To what extent do you agree or disagree
Although I’m convinced that we should make it easier for the students from rural area to enter university,the proposals of how should we make it easier,as far as I am concerned,still remain controversial.Here I classified the numerous proposals into two types,one of which I’m against,the other I strongly support.
The first group of proposals suggests that measures should be taken to reduce the fees charged by the universities so that students from rural area can get easy access to university.I strongly support these proposals.I consider them reasonable mainly from two aspects.First,these proposals benefit the students from rural area,for the lack of financial support prevents these students from entering the university and hinders their path to higher education and supposedly,to success.Second,these proposals benefit the universities as well.If the proposals were to be implemented,the universities would get the chance to recruit talented students who once,because of high tuition fees,can not be admitted.The academic strength as well as the quality of students can thus be improved.In brief,if we were to make it easier for the students from rural area to go to university,we should adopt this proposal.
The other type of proposals indicates that we should lower the minimum admission requirements so that it will be easier for the students to go to study in the universities.I do not think this type proposals should be approved out of two primary concerns.First,it violates the purpose of university education.A far as I am concerned,the purpose of university education is and will always be cultivating the most capable students.Admittedly,entering university would be made easier for students from rural area whereas the competence of the students can not be guaranteed.If the admission requirements were to be lowed,the hallowed purpose the university education will be destructed.Second,this proposal fails to maintain a competitive environment which will motivate the students to work hard.If this type of proposal were to be adopted,it would inevitably result in the phenomena that the students from the rural area no longer work harder as they once were.Because even though they are not performing as well as they once were,they can still get into the university.On the whole,I don’t think this is an effective proposal,on the contrary,it creates more problems than it solves.
All in all,as I have stated,although we should make it easier for the students from rural area to enter universities,we should adopt the reasonable proposal which will reduce the fees charged by the university rather than lower the admission requirements.
这是我写的,希望大家给看看大概能拿多少分~

Answer 1

楼上直接拿Google翻译的吧
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关于雅思作文 首段最好给出自己的观点,要明确一点.所以你的首段说有支持,也有反对.这种的我觉得一边倒的比较好写吧!
另外,多用些高级词汇,句型注意变化,例子充分这样在没有大错误的前提下应该可以那个不错的分数,至少6.5!