请哪位英语比较好的来看看这篇短诗有没有语病I'msailingthroughtheseaToanislandwherewe'llmeetYou'llhearthemusicfilltheairI'llputaflowerinyourhairThoughthebreezesthroughtreesMovesoprettyyou'reallIsee

Question

请哪位英语比较好的来看看这篇短诗有没有语病
I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
这是在某贴吧里看到的,用翻译软件翻了下(大家也知道哈,不可靠嘛)
觉得挺好的,想誊到笔记本上,看下有么有语病或拼写错误,最好再翻译一下!
如果回答完全符合本人要求的话,

Answer 1

当然有,不过我也不知道自己是否全对,参考一下吧.这是一首诗,不能像字面上那样翻译,要唯美一点,所以与愿意还是有一些出入.I'm sailing for the sea 我穿越过海洋
To an island where we'll meet 去到我们将要相遇的爱情岛
You'll hear the music in the air 在空气里弥漫着祝福的音乐
I'll put a flower in your hair 我将在你的发间带上花朵
Though the breeze through trees “breeze用单数” 花香在微风与树中穿梭
Move so pretty that you're all I see 但我的眼里只有美丽的你
As the world keeps spinning round 当我的世界处在波涛之中,
You hold me right here right now .你抓住我并保护了我.Move so pretty that you're all I see 我觉得这句有问题但是不知道怎么改