亲,DearJack:I’mZoe.How’sgoingAsyouknow,SpringFestivelinChinaiscomingsoon.Actuallyisjusttomorrow.Yousaidyouwanttoknowsometraditionsaboutit.Nowletmetellyou.First,youcan’tcleanyourhouseduringthefestivel.Somyf

Question

亲,
Dear Jack:
I’ m Zoe .How’s going As you know,Spring Festivel in China is coming soon.Actually is just tomorrow.You said you want to know some traditions about it.Now let me tell you.
First,you can’t clean your houseduring the festivel.So my family already clean it some days ago.And you alsocan’t have a haircut too.Tomorrow evening ,our big family will eat dinnertogether.We call it “Year Night Dinner ” .And we will see Spring Festivel Partyon CCTV.All of us will sleep very late.
In the first day of the Spring Festivel,we stay at home .In the 2nd day we will visit relative .Adult playMahjong ,and children set off firecrackers.In the south,we eat plain chickeneveryday .And every one will be happy.
In one word ,we like SpringFestivel .
Happy New Year Love you!
Yours,
Zoe.
2014.01.30

Answer 1

希望我的回答对您有所帮助^w^:
以下是修改后的：
Dear Jack:
How is everything going?As you know,tomorrow is going to be Spring Festival,and I am pleased to introduce you our traditions.
First,you cannot clean your house during the festival.As a result,my family had clean the house before the festival.In addition,haircut during the festival is forbidden as well.Tomorrow evening,which is New Year's Eve,all my relatives and my family will gather for a big dinner.We call it “family reunion dinner”.We enjoy CCTV's Spring Festival Gala together.All of us will party for whole night.
On the first day of the Spring Festivel,we stay at home and enjoy family time.On the next day,we pay visits to relatives.Grown-ups love to play Mahjong for several hours,and children set off firecrackers.In southern area,we eat plain chickens as a way of celebration.Everyone enjoy the holiday very much.
In general,Spring Festival is the best holiday.
Happy New Year!
Yours,
Zoe.
2014.01.30
*最后已经署名Zoe,一开头就不用说我是Zoe啦.
*写书面语的时候尽量不要写缩写,例There's,I'm.
*pleased在那里的意思是“很荣幸”.
*第二段中So my family.,so不可以作为句子的开头,改成As a result比较好.第二句And同理不能作为句子开头,可以写成In addition
*n.节日 正确拼写：festival,中间是val不是vel哦
*年夜饭：family reunion dinner或New Year's Eve dinner~（楼主好可爱嘤嘤
*Sleep very late的意思是赖床,迟起.我就猜你是想说通宵吧,恩
*修改语法,时态,和格式.不详列