Dearsirormadam,IwouldliketointroduceyouabrilliantstudentspecializinginAdvertisingofouruniversity—**University,inChina.Qianhasalwaysbeenoutstandingandpositiveinherstudiesandlife,andthisbrightstarofourswouldbesur

Question

Dear sir or madam,
I would like to introduce you a brilliant student specializing in Advertising of our university—** University,in China.Qian has always been outstanding and positive in her studies and life,and this bright star of ours would be sure to be more outstanding in her later life.
She has been rewarded the first level scholarship when she was a freshman,and has been give the second level scholarship when she was a sophomore.Moreover,she has been selected as an exchange student to study in Central Connecticut State University when she was in third year.Accordingly,Qian worked hard and got almost A in her final.You can image that how proud I am of her!
As one of her professor,not only do I like her satisfied performance in study but also her great personalities.Qian has participated in lots of charitable events,especially,she has been teaching in a Hope Primary School once a week for two years as a volunteer.And often,when her classmates had any troubles,she always came to help them.Qian was a perfect student leader in her class.Her great personalities were admitted by all of her professors and classmates.They all like her and love to be friends with her.
As a result,she is brilliant and I do hope you can accept her.If you have any questions,please do not hesitate to contact with me.
Sincerely
Professor

Answer 1

说实话,这篇推荐信的质量不高啊.结构跟内容都有问题,这个很难改.我只能把语法跟词汇改了,内容还要lz自己斟酌~
Qian has always been outstanding 改为 Qian is always outstand
一般时更好,表示一如既往.
And I'm sure this bright star of ours would to be more extraordinary in the future.
原文用词重复,句子结构缀余.建议去掉of ours,或改为of our school
She was rewarded the University Scholarship for strong overall academic achievements when she was a freshman
奖学金这样表达更好~
she was selected as an exchange student to study in Central Connecticut State University when she was in her third year
时态错误,还有第三年的表达~
Qian worked hard and got almost A in her final examnation.
satisfied performance 改为 satisfactory performance
especially（后面不加逗号）her voluntary teaching in a Hope Primary School once a week for two years
They all like her and like to be her friends.
And often,when her classmates had any troubles,she always came to help them.改为She is often willing to help when classmates has any trouble.
最后一段末尾加一句：I'm glad to hear from you.