DearMessi,Ireallyadmireyou!I’maChineseboy.I’mthirteenyearsold.IliveinChengdu,China.Iverylikesoccer.IwasinF.C.Barcelonavs.RealMadridmetyou.Ithinkyouarethebestplayer.Youaremyidol.Causeofyou,IloveF.C.Barcelona.I

Question

Dear Messi,
I really admire you!I’m a Chinese boy.I’m thirteen years old.I live in Chengdu,China.I very like soccer.I was in F.C.Barcelona vs.Real Madrid met you.I think you are the best player .You are my idol.Cause of you,I love F.C.Barcelona.I have a dream that one day you see in Nou Camp.I dream of becoming the hero like you.
Time returns to Match 10,2007.I sat in front of the TV and watched F.C.Barcelona vs.Real Madrid.Now my Sight is concentrated on Ronaldinho on one's body.
我才13岁
帮我找错

Answer 1

我就在原文上改动啦~见括号
Dear Messi,
I really admire you!I’m a Chinese boy.I’m thirteen years old.(这两句可以简化成I am a thirteen-year-old Chinese boy.) I live in Chengdu,China.I like soccer (very much).I was in F.C.Barcelona vs.Real Madrid met you.(改成这样吧：I first saw you in the match between F.C.Barcelona vs.Real Madrid.) I think you are the best player .You are my idol.(Because of you),I love F.C.Barcelona.I have a dream that one day（I could see you at) Nou Camp.I dream of becoming the hero like you.
(要想说时光倒流到就用这个吧：Turn back the clock)to Match 10,2007.I sat in front of the TV and watched F.C.Barcelona vs.Real Madrid.Now my eyes are glued to Ronaldinho in the screen.(这样说形象点吧,我眼睛注视着罗纳尔迪尼奥)