英语作文找错（查看是否正确）"Weseethefireinthesky,wefeelthebeatingofourheartstogether."Ilovethissongverymuch.Yes,theworldneedsourlove.Inthisworld,manypeopleneedourlove,likethehomelesspeople,theoldpeople

Question

英语作文找错（查看是否正确）
"We see the fire in the sky,we feel the beating of our hearts
together." I love this song very much.Yes,the world needs our love.In this world,many people need our love,like the homeless people,the old people,the sick people,the hungry people,the street children and so on .So we should give help to those people.Although one person`s energy is small.the energy we all give is large So let us understand"Hand in hand we can ,all across the land ,we can make this world a better place for us to live." If everyone give his/her a bit of love,the world will be a beautiful family!

Answer 1

,like the homeless people（the+形容词表示一类人,可以在此处删掉people也没问题的,而且这样你后面的用词也不会一直有people,people这样的重复哦）,the old people（删掉people）,the sick people（删掉people）,the hungry people（其实表示饥民直接说the starving就好啦）,the street children and so on .
So we should give（这里的give有点中式英语咯,一般说lend help to sb.或者直接说help sb.） help to those people.
Although one person`s（同样的one person's你是想说一个人吧,比较地道的表达是single person's） energy is small.（标点问题：换成逗号） the energy we all give is large !（同样感觉有些中式英语,你是想说团结力量大吧,the power of solidarity is great就好看多了吧）
So let us understand（有些问题,so who let us understand?谁让你明白了这个道理呢?）
If everyone give his/her a bit of love,the world will be a beautiful family!（有语法问题,这是虚拟语气,就比如if I were you,I won't do that-如果我是你我可不这么干-一样,要用过去时哦）
LZ要是不采纳就太寒心了