托福作文,求改!字数有点少,Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement?Ifparentswanttheirchildrentodowellatschool,theyshouldlimitthetimetheirchildrenspendonwatchingTV.Somepeoplethinkthatifparentswanttheir

Question

托福作文,求改!字数有点少,
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?If parents want their children to do well at school,they should limit the time their children spend on watching TV.
Some people think that if parents want their children to do well at school,they should limit the time their children spend on watching TV.Meanwhile,those who strongly disagree with it cite that instead of limiting,parents should let children to decide it themselves.From my own perspective,the former one is more reasonable.
The first reason I want to put forward is that most children are too young to differentiate whether it is good for them or not.Without the ability of reorganization,children would neglect their school study result from spending too much time on watching TV or other things.Therefore,as adults who are mature and experienced,parents should take the responsibility of teaching them how to recognize things.So long the process of getting understanding is that parents should give children a limitation about watching TV before they are mature enough to control their time.
Furthermore,an enormous amount of information which is mixed with improper things such as violence,sexuality or crime has been shown in TV every day.The more time children spend on TV,the bigger chance they influence by inappropriate things.Needless to emphasize the importance of a healthy growing environment,the necessary of limiting the time spend on TV program can never be exaggerated.
Admittedly,even if parents limit their children’s time spending on TV,there is still no guarantee that they would do well in study.Having a good grade needs a lot of work from teachers,parents and children,not just simply limiting their time using in watching TV.Besides,Knowledge could attain from both school studying and daily life which watching TV counts.
In conclusion,considerable though the positive sides of watching TV leads to are,they cannot compete with the benefits of limiting it brings about,when all the foregoing discussion is taken into account.

Answer 1

在body para段可以加具体的事例,这样可以让证明更充分而不笼统~conclusion可以小小的总结一下你的论点