高三英语作文II.GuidedWriting:作为孩子应该做些家务,既能够减轻父母负担,也能锻炼自己独立生活.你的作文必须包括以下内容：1.说明家长工作辛苦2.你学会了做哪些家务3.你的感受.Witht

Question

高三英语作文
II. Guided Writing:作为孩子应该做些家务,既能够减轻父母负担,也能锻炼自己独立生活.你的作文必须包括以下内容：1. 说明家长工作辛苦2. 你学会了做哪些家务3. 你的感受. With the arrival of modern era, love in many youngs' eyes become more and more unnecessary. In my opinion, It can't be denied that parents give us life . However , as we grown up ,the burden on our parents became more and more heavily . My family is a very ordinary family, and my parents have general jobs.Frequently, when I go to school , they go out at the same time early. When they go back home ,they will prepare for supper without any rest.After supper, they was busy with housework. Until 11 o'clock, they have time to have a rest but too late.I wants to do something for them.I'm afraid I can't do complex things. Nevertheless,simple things can be competent.I learnt how to tidy the rooms, buy food to cook and especially take care of myself. Plan is perfect but It's difficult to move . But with a period of time to adjust myself,I found the skills to deal with variety of problems .I gain a lot and I 'm proud of myself.The happy expression on their face encourage me .Parents taught us grow and love,what we should do most is feel grateful. We should do what we can do now not plan what to do in the future. 修改就可以了,谢谢

Answer 1

亲,你的文章写得很好很用心!
祝诸事如意,鹏程万里!

With the arrival of modern era, love in many youngs' eyes become more and more unnecessary. In my opinion, It can't be denied that parents give us life . However（这里没有转反转的逻辑关系,因此不能用however.建议把however 改成 The pity is） , as we grown up ,the burden on our parents

became more and more heavily (这里要用形容词,不能用heavily,要用heavy) .

My family is a very ordinary family, and my parents have general jobs.Frequently, when I go to school , they go out at the same time early（ at the same time 与early在逻辑上是矛盾的.建议将此句改为,they have already gone for working）.

When they go back home ,they will prepare for supper without any rest. After supper, they was (注意单复数,这里要用were)

busy with housework（缺少冠词,要么用the housework,要么用houseworks）.

Until 11 o'clock, they have time to have a rest but too late.（逻辑上不对.翻译成中文就是“直到11点,他们有时间休息,但是太晚了”.建议改为,They have no time to relax until 11 p.m.,but this time is really too late）

I wants（我是第一人称,直接说want,不能说wants）

to do something for them.（上一句和下一句之间要有过渡的逻辑词,建议加一个however在这里）I'm afraid I can't do complex things.

Nevertheless,simple things can be competent.I learnt how to tidy the rooms, （缺少必句内链接词,建议加上 and to）buy food to cook and especially take care of myself.

Plan is perfect but It's difficult to move（move不能用来表示执行计划,建议此处用deliver.to deliver the plan是固定搭配） .

But with a period of time to adjust myself,I found the skills to deal with（缺少a.a variety of 是固定搭配） variety of problems.

I gain（时态要一致.亲前面用一般过去式,这里就要一致.用gained） a lot and I 'm proud of myself.

The happy expression on their face（单复数要一致.这里有两张脸,用faces） encourage（encouraged） me .

Parents taught us grow and love（句子成分不完整.shi taught us how to grow up and to love）,

what we should do most is feel grateful( 1. most在这里的适用错误, 建议删除. 2.缺少动词.这里要用 what we should do is to feel grateful ).

We should do what we can do now not （把not换成instead of）plan what to do in the future.