求英语达人批改作文（英专一年级）Businessshouldhireemployeesfortheirentirelives.Doyouagreeordisagree?Usespecificreasonsandexamplestosupportyouridea.Personally,Idon'tthinkbusinessshouldhireemployeesfortheiren

Question

求英语达人批改作文（英专一年级）
Business should hire employees for their entire lives.Do you agree or disagree?Use specific reasons and examples to support your idea.
Personally,I don't think business should hire employees for their entire lives.Reasons are following.
First of all,after graduation,students are freshmen in the society.Frankly speaking,they aren’t aware of the society sitution and don’t know well about their career.Therefore,they may make wrong choices which may lead to regrets in future.
Besides,business hire employees for their entire lives can limit the employees’ ability and development.If the employees have the chance to work in different companies,more or less,the will tell the differences between companies and learn something good and avoid something bad.Furthermore,they will be more creative and make more contribution to the company.
Working in the same company for the entire lives can make employees not that positive as before.After all,they don't have to worry if they will be fired no matter how they behave.
Considering the above-mentioned factors,I disagree business fire employees for their entire lives.

Answer 1

第一行是题目吧 没有字数要求?我觉得这篇写得太短了.如果是普通作文的话,已经挺好的了,虽然是中国的那种固有格式（也太死板了- -!）,但是没有错的地方.还有你到底想改哪里,语法和结构都没有问题的.以下只是个人的观...