adayaftermylasertreatment,Istillworriedaboutthestainonmyface.求指点语法错误.我写的一段日记,主要讲我去九院做激光祛斑后非常担心治疗没做好.希望指点语法错误,谢谢.TodayisSaturday,adayafte

Question

a day after my laser treatment, I still worried about the stain on my face. 求指点语法错误.
我写的一段日记,主要讲我去九院做激光祛斑后非常担心治疗没做好. 希望指点语法错误,谢谢.

Today is Saturday, a day after my laser treatment, I still worried about the stain on my face, because( it seemed hasn't ) any sign of scab. (它看起来并没有结痂的迹象) The stain (where) I have done the laser treatment feels as soft as the surrounding skin on my face.

Due to concerned about this, I went to the ninth people's hospital again. When i saw the doctor who made the treatment for me , She said my stain recovered very well. Then she told me to take it easy and don't always look in the mirror.

Now i was home, I still nervous about it but feel a bit of relief to the anxiety.

括号的部分是自己感觉有点语法错误的地方.

Answer 1

‍括号中是需要修改之处

【原文】Today is Saturday, (a day) after my laser treatment,

【点评】
　　a day after my laser treatment 是对前面特定时间Saturday作出的具体说明,是同位语,a day 需要改为 the day,以呼应具体时间 Saturday,相当于汉语的即“激光治疗后这一天”

【原文】I still (worried) about the stain on my face, because( it seemed hasn't ) any sign of scab. (它看起来并没有结痂的迹象)

【点评】
　　1、此句说的是现在的情况,要用一般现在时.
　　2、I still (worried) 改为I am still worried.worried 是表语,表示主语所处的状态,
　　3、“…看起来”有两种表示手段：“it seems + that从句（it 是形式主语）”和“主语 + seem + 不定式短语”.
　　用第一种句型句型,此处可以改为 it seemed that there isn’t any sign of scab；
　　用第二种句型句型,此处可以改为 no sign of crab seemed to be there.

【原文】The (stain) where I have done the laser treatment feels as soft as (the surrounding skin) on my face.

【点评】
　　1、stain 指污点,脸上的半点应该用freckle
　　2、where 指代 at the stain,即I have done the laser treatment at the freckle,可以用
　　3、the surrounding skin 改为the skin around

【原文】Due to (concerned) about this, I went to the (ninth people's hospital) again.

　　1、due to 是复合介词,需要跟名词作宾语,改为 due to my concern about this
　　2、the ninth people's hospital 是专有名词,需要大写the Ninth People's Hospital 或People's Hospital No. 9

【原文】When I saw the doctor who made the treatment for me, She said my (stain) recovered very well. Then she told me to take it easy and (don't) always look in the mirror.

【点评】
　　引用的是大夫意思,要用过去时, don't always look 改为 needn’t always look 或 didn’t need to look

【原文】Now I (was) home, I still (nervous) about it but feel (a bit of relief) to the anxiety.

【点评】
　　1、此句说的是当前的情况,用现在时,改为I am home 或I am at home
　　2、nervous 是形容词,用作表语,改为I am still nervous
　　3、a bit of relief 改为 somewhat