面试之后,这封询问信写的怎么样DearManagerXX:Howareyou?Idonn'tknowwhat'syouremail,butIwanttotry.I'msorryifIdisturbyou!Pleasetrustinmyinterestsandskillsinthiselectronicsengineerposition,IthinkI'mtherightca

Question

面试之后,这封询问信写的怎么样
Dear Manager XX:
How are you?I donn't know what's your email,but I want to try.I'm sorry if I disturb you!
Please trust in my interests and skills in this electronics engineer position,I think I'm the right candidate for this job.But I donn't know if you think so and when this interview can have a conclusion?If you think I donn't suit your qualifications and I cann't join you to work together,I'll surpport XXX for ever,because the conversation with you has given me a good impression on XXX cultures and its employees.
I just want to have the chance to do what I like,so I'm sorry again if I trouble you!
Waiting for you answer wishfully.Thank you!
With my best regards!
Sincerely
xxxx

Answer 1

很抱歉, 不是太好. 道歉有点频繁, 有些地方逻辑有问题, 不够单到直入(不够坦白), 不够简洁.
应该开门见山, 表示诚意.还要在开头简单说明一下你是何许人也, 你们什么时候在哪面试过.
我觉得太长太罗嗦, 那个人不会有耐心看.