greissue第2次习作(ISSUE43)找人修改?TOPIC:ISSUE43-"Tobeaneffectiveleader,apublicofficialmustmaintainthehighestethicalandmoralstandards."WORDS:397TIME:00:45:00DATE:2010-7-3011:24:57Theauthoradvocatesthatinordertobe

Question

gre issue 第2次习作(ISSUE43) 找人修改?
TOPIC:ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader,a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."
WORDS:397 TIME:00:45:00 DATE:2010-7-30 11:24:57
The author advocates that in order to be an effective leader,a public official must maintain both the hightest ethical and moral standard.I agree with this opinion because ,undoubtedly,it is both important and necessory for an public offical who are willing to become an effective leader,in another words,the difference between public official and effective public official are distinguish by the ethical and moral standards they hold on to,but also because himself is a model for others to follow.
The first reason is,such an official who want to be an efective leader needs to be exemplary to his or her employees by setting moral standards.That is he or she is the model to the fellowman,For instince,Martin Luther King,Jr.a man of high integrity,well-respected,what he was trying to do is to stimulate and change for a large population by setting himself as a model for other people to follow,no doubt that he can successfully gain a large reputation and free the African Amrican finally.
Secondly,if moral valves are compromised by leader or if they are found to be involved in scandals,their image is smeared in the eyes of people no matter how pure and glory it used to be.As an Chinese old saying "A small piece of rat waste is enough to spoil an large bowl of porridge"Let's take President Clinton's affare as an example,he used to be an effective leader,brought great benefit to American people both economicly and politicly,however after his involving in Lawinsky scandal,his reputatation among the nation had dropped sharply through out a night,everything was ruined because of this,I believe he could have be a more effective leader if he would not have been involved in such a scandal.
Furthermore,if a leader lead in such activities rather than following the right procedure and sticking to his moral and ethical principles,in the prosess he might encourage others to do so.Obviously,he or she will fail to set an example for his fellowman,which will surely to detrimental a company,a school or even a whole nation.
To sum up,I strongly support the idea that for each public offical should dedicated to maintain the highest ethical and moral standards not only because to become an effcetive leader but also the responsibility to set an apportriate model to others to follow.

Answer 1

说句实话 写得真的很一般 3分很客气了
字数太少 例子的展开太简单 分层的层次有不够明显 语言也很commonplace
老鼠屎应该是 rat dropping
那句话的地道表达式 one rotten apple spoils the barrel
另外对于effective的理解也太简单了 导致没有来回反复的错落感
建议好好看看北美范文 然后去寄托天下 或者 太傻这样的网站看看G友们的模考 按照这个水平 想拿4分基本没有可能