托福作文求评分啊～从看到题目开始计时的,35分钟内写完的～有什么问题,大概几分LearningaforeignlanguageItisquitecommonincurrentschoolsaroundtheworldthatalmostallstudentsarerequiredtolearnasecondlan

Question

托福作文求评分啊～从看到题目开始计时的,35分钟内写完的～有什么问题,大概几分
Learning a foreign language
It is quite common in current schools around the world that almost all students are required to learn a second language for purposes such as expanding the potential career fields.Therefore,it comes up with question what is the most efficient path to master a foreign language.From my prospective,to learn abroad no doubt dwarfs other choices.
Firstly,since the language to master is natively spoken in that foreign country,the local culture and native speakers provide an excellent circumstance for the learners to practice using the language all the time,not matter they are willing to or not.This situation forces learners not only to move on listening and speaking,but also to think in this language in order to react faster.
Another important reason is that while languages and cultures alter along with the development of society (a word used several years ago might not be so frequently used today),learning in people’s own country might come up with problem that the references learners get could be out of date and there’s no way to distinguish them from the correct current usages.Thus,it is much more straightforward to stay abroad to see how people uses words and phrases nowadays
Furthermore,teachers who do not speak this language as mother tongue are likely to have accents with the feature of their own native languages which might consequently mislead the learners,so it’s more advisable to go to the foreign country to follow the tongue of natives.
In conclusion,people who select to learn a language in a foreign country which uses it as a mother tongue can achieve more while making less effort.Although it might cost much more monetarily than learning in their own countries,the price is obviously worth paying.
PS:其实我不是很明白托福的作文评分怎么算.＝ ＝大小作文各多少分什么的.

Answer 1

我觉得你的作文只能是FAIR.有语法错,推荐你少使用点长句子,长短搭配最好,少用大词（托福词汇）,没有水平通篇用托福词汇就不要用,否则读的很奇怪.三个观点比较明确,也能有效支持作者观点.但是说的没有detail,所以感觉...