新写了一盘托福作文,恳求各位帮忙看看哪里有语法错误!Asweallknow,professionalathletesnowadaysarecommonlyreceivingdecentsalarieswhicharegreatlyhigherthanaverageearnings.However,whetherthoseathletesreallydeserv

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新写了一盘托福作文,恳求各位帮忙看看哪里有语法错误!
As we all know,professional athletes nowadays are commonly receiving decent salaries which are greatly higher than average earnings.However,whether those athletes really deserve such a good pay,the answer of many people may be negative,because they believe that athlete is just a normal occupation and it is unfair to other people if athlete’s salary is so much higher than average.But to be frank,I actually believe that professional athletes indeed deserve the salaries that they are paid.I would like to present the following two points to support my belief.
First of all,it takes more time of training to become a professional athlete than other occupation needs.For example,it usually needs more than ten years of basketball practicing and great talent to become a basketball player in NBA; furthermore,it would take even more effort to become a sports star such as Michael Jordan and David Beckham.Besides,athletes also withstand greater pressure than normal people; they have to contribute almost all their time to training in order to win the game.If they can’t help their team win the contest any more,they would be fired ruthlessly no matter how glorious their past was.
Secondly,the length of most athletes’ career is quite short.They have to retire at a relatively young age no matter how hard they have been working.On the other hand,most people in other careers can work almost as long as they want and earn more money as they get older,such as lawyers and doctors.But when it comes to athletes,this simply isn’t the case.Therefore,if athletes can’t have high salaries,I guess no one would be willing to become one of them.
In conclusion,although it seems that professional athletes have earned more money than we expect,given the factors I have just outlined,I can only say that those athletes deserve what they have,indeed.

Answer 1

第二段应改为 First of all,it takes more time in training to become a professional athlete than other occupational needs.For example,it usually needs more than ten years of basketball practicing and gr...