请老师帮忙改改英语作文,DearRobert,Howtimeflies!YouaskedmeaboutmyplanningofmysummervacationinyourlastE-mail.I’mgladtolearnthatyouareinterestedinit.Well,firstofall,I’mgoingtolearnhowtodrivethissummer.Yo

Question

请老师帮忙改改英语作文,
Dear Robert,
How time flies!You asked me about my planning of my summer vacation in your last E-mail.I’m glad to learn that you are interested in it.Well,first of all,I’m going to learn how to drive this summer.You know,my father bought a car as my birthday present.Then,I want to take part in an English training.I’ll go to Beijing to watch the 2008 Olympic Games and visit the places of historic interest there.After all of that,I will visit my university and learn more about it.
That’s all of my summer planning.What do you think about it?
Yours LiHong

Answer 1

1.planning -> plan (可直接用plan的名词意义,可更简练)
2.I’m going to learn how to drive this summer. (是在翻译"我这个夏天将会去学开车"吗?)
我认为这样的翻译过于生硬,可翻译为 I will have a driving lessons this summer.
3.You know 这里与前面衔接不太紧密,学车与买了车有一定的因果关系,可以在my father前面加个because使文章更连贯.
4."the places of historic interest"这个词组用的很好!
5.What do you think about it?(你怎么看?) 比较地道的说法是: how do you think about it.
6.另外,你前面用了First, 后面应该适当加些Second, next, last之类的词进行连接.看上去会比较流畅!
总体来说还是不错, 不过运用得有些生硬喔, 建议多点接触英语, 培养语感和语言运用的地道性
加油~!