英语修改Inrecentyears,anincreasingnumberofstudentschoosetostudyoverseas.Asthedomesticeducationcannotmeettheirgreatdemands,theytendtostepoutoftheircountriestotakealookattheoutsidesworld,widentheirhorizonsandg

Question

英语 修改
In recent years,an increasing number of students choose to study overseas.As the domestic education can not meet their great demands,they tend to step out of their countries to take a look at the outsides world,widen their horizons and get the better education.However,there are many challenges for the international students,especially adjusting to a new academic culture.
One of the major problems for the international students is that the different thinking style.That a Chinese student who had a good achievement in China but failed his essay in the UK would be taken a good example.In his essay,he introduced many details about his personal experience and personal points of view.However ,there was no objective examples .What is more,his conclusion was so brief that there was no comment in his essay.Obviously,he insisted his essay with his old Chinese thinking style.Therefore,his essay was not acceptable.According to the typical example,some available methods would be taken to solve the problem for all international students.Firstly,the international students should make efforts to change their old thinking style to adjust to the new academic thinking style,to consider and study more new thinking styles.Then they should seek help from tutors who could give them appropriate and custom-built suggestions and advice.
The other problem for the international students is the difference of action style.For some international students,they respect their teachers and always keep distance from their teachers.When facing some problems,they prefer to keep silence than asking questions even they do not understand.Therefore,students would pile up more and more questions.That not be shy,more communications and asking questions would be the validity solution for international students.
All in all,if the international students want to overcome the two problems:difference of thinking and action styles,they should change their old thinking stye and remember to ask a help from teachers or friends.There would be a promising future to wait international students.

Answer 1

还是挺流畅的,不过注意检查以下几点：
1.international students 前不用加the,因为你是泛指国际学生,而不是特指.
2.注意一些句子里的单复数,比如第二段的第四句.当然还有些语法的细节.
3.international students是否范围太大,你的例子都是中国学生的现象.据我了解中东南美和欧洲的学生都是很热情的,亚洲学生也是中国学生比较含蓄.
4.这类文章一般3个论点比较好,你还可以加一个,比如说对图书馆和电脑的运用.
5.there be 的句型太多,建议换种说法.比如说,his conclusion was so brief that there was no comment in his essay.可以说成his conclusion was so brief and without any comments in his essay.