麻烦帮我检查一下这个短文,一分钟的,可以适当修改(无视大小写）.hello,mynameis##.Today,iamsogladtocomeheretointroducemyselftoallyou.iamthirteenyearsold.myfavoritesubjectisgeography.theteacherisanin

Question

麻烦帮我检查一下这个短文,一分钟的,可以适当修改(无视大小写）.
hello,my name is ##.Today,i am so glad to come here to introduce my self to all you.i am thirteen years old.my favorite subject is geography .the teacher is an interesting man.i don not like math.the teacher a little scary.he always tell us "math is important!"i like sports,such as swimming,badminton and soon.there are three people in my family.we went for walk at sunset.这个对我很重要,请务必帮我好好修改,

Answer 1

1.all of you这个表达有问题,一定要改
2.a funny,我觉得用interesting形容人好像不怎么常用,改成funny更符合习惯
3.but i don not like math,the teacher makes me a little scared.加了but句与句之间
的转折就显得不那么生硬,接着的那个分句我建议你改一下
4.he always tells us,这句话是第三人称的问题
5.we usually go for walk at sunset.因为你们经常散步,所以没必要用过去时