这篇英语作文该怎么修改才算行文流畅,Whetherluckplaysacrucialroleinpeople'ssuccess?Thisquestionpuzzlespeopleformanyyearsandpeoplearedividedonthistopic.Someholdtheopinionthatsuccessfulpeopleshouldthankstot

Question

这篇英语作文该怎么修改才算行文流畅,
Whether luck plays a crucial role in people's success?This question puzzles people for many years and people are divided on this topic.Some hold the opinion that successful people should thanks to their luck,while others attach no importance to luck when it comes to success.However,I support the second opinion because we can't control the luck but can change ourselves by working hard.
As the saying goes:Opportunity is open to people well prepared for it.Similarly,luck favors those who work hard.Luck probably means opportunities in the key moments.Nevertheless,if you don't work hard at ordinary time,you won't seize these opportunities.For example,we all know Beethoven,the greatest musician in history,is talented and unreachable.When we learn about Beethoven,some of us may complain that we are not that mastered just because we are not that gifted.So Beethoven's success should thanks to his luck.Whereas,how many of us know that he had to play violin all day long since he was 4 years old.
You'd find a thousand more who fared the same.So we draw a conclusion that the success is not the appreciation to their luck,but the admiration for their effort.
We can't decide whether we are talented or whether we will get unexpected help.In addition,appearance,family background,intelligence and so on.We can't choose them,we just accept them.Luck included,is the same.Nonetheless,what we can do is changing ourselves.As the saying goes:Diligence can make up for lack of intelligence.For example,we all know the story:The race between hare and tortoise.We can't attribute the success to tortoise's luck.It's his patience,perseverance and hard work earns his success.
People who work hard help make their own luck by being ready opportunity knocks.When it comes to success.I think that hard work and luck so hand in hand.

Answer 1

Whether luck plays a crucial role in people's success?This question puzzles(has puzzled根据这句的时间要用现在完成时) people for many years and people are divided on this topic.Some hold the opinion that successful people should thanks to(thanks to --owe their success to) their luck,while others attach no importance to luck when it comes to success.However,I support the second opinion because we can't control the（去掉the） luck but can change ourselves by working hard.
As the saying goes:Opportunity is open to people(加上who are因为是定语从句,要用从句的引导词和谓语) well prepared for it.Similarly,luck favors those who work hard.Luck probably means opportunities in the key moments.Nevertheless,if you don't work hard at ordinary time,you won't seize these opportunities.For example,we all know Beethoven,the greatest musician in history,is talented and unreachable.When we learn about Beethoven,some of us may complain that we are not that mastered just because we are not that gifted.So Beethoven's success should thanks to his luck.Whereas,how many of us know that he had to play violin all day long since he was 4 years old.
You'd find a thousand more who fared （改为shared）the same.So we draw a conclusion that the (the去掉)success is not the appreciation to their luck,but the admiration for their effort.
We can't decide whether we are talented or whether we will get unexpected help.In addition,appearance,family background,intelligence and so on.We can't choose them,we just accept them.Luck included,is the same.Nonetheless,what we can do is changing ourselves.As the saying goes:Diligence can make up for lack of intelligence.For example,we all know the story:The race between hare and tortoise.We can't attribute the success to tortoise's luck.It's his patience,perseverance and hard work (加上that因为是强调句)earns his success.
People who work hard help make their own luck by being ready (加上when)opportunity knocks.When it comes to success.I think that hard work and luck (加上are)so hand in hand.