我写英语短文自己看不出哪里错误tonyisarestaurantwaiter,hehasabsolutepower.intheabsenceofthemanagerhewillbeinchargeoftherestaurant.nextmonth,theoldmanagerwillleave.thebossneedtochooseanewmanager.tonyi

Question

我写英语短文 自己看不出哪里错误
tony is a restaurant waiter ,he has absolute power.in the absence of the manager he will be in charge of the restaurant.
next month ,the old manager will leave.the boss need to choose a new manager.tony is ability to be a manager ,but he likes drinking .he often abandoned himself to despair.For this reason,the boss discard tony to be a manager.he chooses a new person,Jely.
Jely 's childhood lived abroad ,He hates someone who drunken .when he is being to manager,he changes many rules.The most improtant rule is that everyone cannot drinking when they are working.Tony cannot accept this rule.he is anger at jely.
Love was totally absent from tony's childhood ,he has abnormal mind .he calls his friend keviw,they made an accident when jely accessed to the road .Lucky,jely slightly injured,he thought it was not an normal accident .he call the police.
After a week ,the police have absolute proof of tony's guilt .keviw is accomplice .

Answer 1

1.the boss need to choose a new manager中的need改为needs
2.注意大写
3.He hates someone who drunken改为He hates the zonked
4.这前后时态不对劲,把2段改为过去将来时,最后一段有问题.